baba. (part 1)

baba. (part 1)

well, today im off to malacca for some unfinished business. its not really that important though. its just that i tend to procrastinate ALOT. n alot means alot okay. ngee. cuz i need to find a repairman to fix my bloody fan in my room. cuz ive been suffering for having such a wonderful looking ceiling fan that only looks pretty and complete the necessary needs for every room and the most wonderful part is that its not working!! not functioning!! been complaining to the college but end up suffering for 1 whole year already. so mama generously said that she’ll pay for the fixing expanses. so hopefully i’ll sleep comfortably soon! hee

plus its spring cleaning time! my room desperately in need of that! haha! u have no idea wut might be living underneath my bed. hee. i guess i know wuts running in ur mind right now *ishk. iklil nieh sungguh x senonoh* haha! ouh well. thats y they call me lazybumbum for nothing right?

well, before i go, obviously i need to pack my stuff. haha. back pain!! need to filled up my super humongous luggage wif all my clothes. i hate packing. truly hate it. urgh. then, i accompany baba take his lunch. he eats very slowly, and the thing that really kills me inside was when i saw his hands shaking when hes about to put food in his mouth. shaking when hes about to take “lauk” and put in his plate. shaking when hes about to drink from his mug. yeah. i feel like i wanna help him somehow but i know baba. hes really independent. n he will try his best not to rely on others. so basically i cant do anything. or i will get scolded for free! i dunno about u guys but i can feel his pain. thats because my body tends to shake vigorously when i feel hungry. erm. not really hungry la. sometimes my body shakes when my stomach is empty. haha. and it is really PAIN! i repeat. PAIN! when my body is shaking. i cant eat properly. my jaw is like not functional properly. so i have the difficulty to munch, to chew and sometimes swallow. so there u go. thats y when i see baba in that condition. it truly tear my heart out. honestly, when i saw that, i almost cried. but that time obviously i have to control myself. haha. so i just watch him finish his food slowly. then, i prepared his warm goat milk before i departed as told by aunty enon.

 

While writing this, I was listening to "Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)" by Lady GaGa

editing.

editing.

just finished editing my darn blog. haha! a lil touch of here n there. ngee. since my previous layout cant post any comment. (i must say, thanks to Kaklong Adzu and her post that really open up my eyes). kinda curious too though, wut kind of comments i shall get. so i decided to change every single thing. it broke my heart though cuz i miss my lil “kambeng” which was so cute. anyway. only last night i converted my blog from the classic to the latest version. how dumb was i? LoL. no wonder all this while i really cant understand the instructions that has been given to me if i want to change my blog template. haha! silly! silly me~ enough bout the blog.

just now, my cousin's blog really caught my attention. hee. i found it really interesting to be put in home observation and surveillance due to influenza A. of course i just hope everything is okay.

damn. cant believe that im actually missing those dumb people who ditched me over Perhentian Island. darn it. haha! well, kinda jealous too since i cant join them cuz i dont have Mama’s permission to go.

well, here comes the yukky part. haha. i mean it! if u dun want to read it, keep on scrolling~!

last night i was in “jiwang karat” mood. so before i went to bed while on the phone wif my lil devil, i decided to sing a song for him. well, i dun usually sing *lie* due to hoarseness and over-pitching of my voice. haha! so usually i tend to keep my very “beautiful and lovely” voice to myself *yeah right! those screaming n shouting aren’t exactly keeping it to myself* so i sang “Aku Dan Dirimu by Ari Lasso & Bunga Citra Lestari” and in the same time im dedicating the song to him. the lyrics and the timing was just perfect! haha! love it!

here is the lyric. <3

Aku Dan Dirimu by Ari Lasso & Bunga Citra Lestari

tiba saatnya kita saling bicara
tentang perasaan yang kian menyiksa
tentang rindu yang menggebu
tentang cinta yang tak terungkap

sudah terlalu lama kita berdiam
tenggelam dalam gelisah yang tak teredam
memenuhi mimpi-mimpimu malam kita

reff:
duhai cintaku, sayangku, lepaskanlah
perasaanmu, rindumu, seluruh cintamu
dan kini hanya ada aku dan dirimu
sesaat di keabadian

jika sang waktu bisa kita hentikan
dan segala mimpi-mimpi jadi kenyataan
meleburkan semua batas
antara kau dan aku, kita

repeat reff

well guys. ready for some summer action-pack movie Transformers : Revenge Of The Fallen? i bet u do! cuz im OVERLYEXCITED! *wink wink*

p/s – Mama. if u do read this. i hope u will not get angry at me. at least this is one of my way to let out wuts been hiding inside me all along. its like a volcano waiting to erupt. its not that i dont want to tell u. i really do. u know ive been telling u wut happen to me every single time. means no secret ive hide from u at all! plus the fact that u called me 3 times a day when i was in Malacca. its just that lately, wut i wanna share wif u, it will totally backfired. i hate those feelings. so i guess u can figure out the rest. this is my blog and its my freedom to write anything i want. i love u mama. ouh ouh! thx for the “skin food” u bought for me just a minute ago which cost u RM300. =D

 

While writing this, I was listening to "Aku Dan Dirimu" by Ari Lasso & Bunga Citra Lestari

happy father’s day.

happy father’s day.

first of all, im not good at words. so i really cant make such dramatic sentence that can make people burst into tears, literally. but this is all from my heart n somehow i wish i can say this straight to ur face. but i still dun have enough courage to do that. so here goes nothing.

baba. u know since i was little, i always adore u. especially when u talk about ur work. how fascinating it was to be a facilitator cuz u look so cool doing it n alot of people know u. somehow makes u famous among ur colleague. n i really found that super awesome.

the other day when i looked back at baby pictures of me. to be honest, i cried. tears r running wild on my cheeks. to see such love that has been given so much to me since i was a baby. words just simply cant even describe wuts running on my mind that time. it was all mixed feelings of love, joy, fun, sadness and happiness of course.

yeah. u once said that we always look up to u as the source of money in the house. haha! well. thats partly true. cuz izzat, haikal n i dont know to appreciate wuts been given to us n seems that we go all around and smash things up. but that was then, when we were too little to notice how hard u’ve work to put food on the table. so i’m really sorry for that. =(

i know baba. we dun talk much. only the necessary one. but i wish i can talk more. u know. have such a deep conversation wif u. its gonna be awkward, obviously but somehow i am still waiting for that moment to happen. =)

ouh, i still remember. u did the family meeting back then. but such ignorant i was, i still remember how stubborn i was and try as hard as i can not to get involve in it. only now i realize how foolish i was cuz only this moment i think it as a way for u to reach to us. regret much? =(

but nevertheless. despite how stubborn, hard-headed, dont-want-to-listen-to-u i was, u still constantly bear wif me, wif ur kids. thank you baba! wait! a million of thank you cant really thank u enough actually, =(

n to that. i, Iklil Izzati binti Rahman Ahmad, ur eldest and one and only daughter would like to wish u, HAPPY FATHER”S DAY, dearest beloved baba. <3

i, we always love love love u from the bottom of our hearts. <3 =’)